Chakotay's got The Angry Warrior Legend, the OeldeCon atendees have The Lengend of the Angry Caffey, but what does JetCJr 11 have? We've got The Legend of Corn! And I, for some reason, have been appointed keeper of this tale. Perhaps that's because it's mainly my fault. I blame Adrienne.

Addy may be our list mom, but that's not to say we listen to her. (Well, I don't. I'm already in so much trouble that it doesn't matter if I get into in more. I believe the phrase "grounded for life" was mentioned at one point...) Anyway, here's The Legend of Corn.

Once upon a time, SaRa was puttering around with her graphics program. She made some web graphics with a corn theme and wanted to show it off, so she shared the link with her pals in #JetC. When Kadi saw this, she said something to the effect of, "IT'S CORN, ADDY!" and began to laugh hysterically.

SaRa didn't like being in the dark, so when Addy started laughing, she just had to find out what was going on. Minutes later, she was told that Addy had written an NC-17 fic involving Janeway, Chakotay, and an ear of corn. The seniors were horrified when they found that "innocent" little SaRa -- one of the youngest juniors -- understood the other uses of corn. They thought that someone had explained it to her and were quite unhappy. They became even less happy when SaRa said that no one had had to explain it. An all-night-long chat session about corn then occurred.

Several other juniors (who shall remain nameless, unless they choose to confess) heard of this and wanted an explanation of what was going on with the corn. So, SaRa explained it and then swore them to secrecy. They knew they had to get their hands on this story, since they were only allowed to see the clean version. They created a new email address and emailed Addy. Within a week, the juniors had their hands on the corn story. They were overjoyed.

After a while, they couldn't stand keeping it to themselves. Were they overcome with guilt for lying? Hell, no! They just wanted to torture Addy. So, SaRa and another junior began asking Addy to explain quotes and words that were in the story. Soon, Addy had it figured out: They had the story! Alas, the damage had been done. There was nothing she could do.  So, nothing is what she did.

From that point on, echoes of SaRa's declaration, "I KNOW THE SECRET OF VEGETABLES!" can be heard in #JetC.

The End!

Note: Addy, on behalf of Corn Fic Readers Unanimous, I'd like to demand a sequel -- set in an Illinois cornfield. After all, that's their major agricultural product, as well as one of the biggest money makers the state has. Perhaps from there you can continue with a fic set in each of the states in the corn belt....