Title: Torn Away
Author: SaRa
Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: It's not mine, which is probably a good thing this time around.
Author's note: I take zero responsibility for this story. Zero, nothing, nada, zilch. It is fully Lissa's fault that my only dying Janeway fic has been made available to you. The fact that I wrote it means nothing -- I was half asleep at the time. Thanks to Lili for checking over my (nontechnical) medical information and telling me that -- gasp! -- I actually got it right by myself, though I should get the head wound out of there. (Which I did, by the way. Thanks again, Lilith!) For the record, I love Janeway and don't want her dead, so don't take this seriously.
Warning: Bloody character death!



Chakotay walked into his quarters and found a sleeping Kathryn sprawled across their couch. She was wearing his gray pajama bottoms and her own purple tank top.

Chakotay smiled and shook his head. His lover had gone through the trouble of preparing a nice cozy environment and then fallen asleep before they had been able to enjoy it. All the candles, pillows, and warm blankets were taken out of their places and spread about the room for nothing.

Quickly, Chakotay changed into his olive green flannel pajama pants and hurried back into the main room. He was just about to kiss Kathryn awake when the ship shook, making her bolt upright.

"Captain to the bridge. We're under attack," came Harry Kim's voice over the comm.

Neither Kathryn nor Chakotay took the time to put their uniforms on, instead rushing out of their quarters in their current state. Chakotay, however, had the good sense to grab both himself and Kathryn sweatshirts on his way out.

"Bridge," ordered Kathryn once they'd stepped into a turbolift.

Chakotay handed her one of the shirts and she wordlessly pulled it over her head. He smiled when he noticed it was just as big on her as the pants she wore.

The lift doors open and Kathryn confidently stepped onto the bridge and walked to the command chair. "Report," she demanded over the noise that always came with battles.

"Three ships decloaked off our port bow and began firing at us. I'm detecting two more ships with the same signatures on our sensors, ma'am," Harry responded promptly.

Before anything else could be said or done, the console closest to Kathryn exploded, throwing her several meters across the bridge and driving a large piece of itself into her chest.

"Kathryn!" Chakotay hollered, his attention immediately shifting from the battle to his injured lover. Unconsciously, he made the decision to look after her and let Tuvok take care of the current crisis.

When Chakotay and Kathryn had first gotten involved, she'd wanted him to promise not to make that decision. He had told her that he'd do what he felt was right at the time. He knew what their crew was capable of managing without assistance, after all. Kathryn had accepted that and confessed that she might not be able to do the right thing and let him go if the need ever arose, which frightened her a lot.

Chakotay rushed over to Kathryn and, being as good at medicine as he was a starting fires, attempted to extract the metal from Kathryn's chest. It came out easily enough, but soon after, blood began gushing from the wound.

The piece of the console had sliced open an artery, but had also been putting pressure on it, preventing blood from squirting out of it. When Chakotay had removed the metal from the wound, he had also taken away what was keeping Kathryn from bleeding to death.

Stop the bleeding! Chakotay's mind screamed. He had to act, and he had to do it now.

Glancing down at Kathryn, Chakotay saw that she was conscious, though not by much. When Chakotay was sure Kathryn was aware of her surroundings, he looked directly into her eyes and mouthed, "I love you, Kathryn. Hang on...please."

Chakotay pushed away the material of Kathryn's shirts and rolled up his sleeves. He reached his hand into the gaping wound below her left breast, searching for the nick in the artery so he could apply pressure to it. "Ensign Phillips, is the Doctor back online yet?" Chakotay asked, hating to distract someone during a battle.

"Negative, sir," Phillips responded.

Chakotay swore under his breath. Of all the time Kathryn had to get severely injured, it was now when the EMH was offline for maintenance and no one could bring him back online. And damn it, Chakotay thought, why is my hand going numb?

Kathryn became more conscious and, between labored, uneven breaths, said, "I'm going to die, aren't I, Chakotay?"

"No. No, not as long as I'm around you won't. I'll give my life for you if I have to. Hang on a little while longer, Kathryn. Please, hang on," Chakotay said, many different emotions in his voice. Fear was the foremost emotion. He was desperately afraid of losing Kathryn. She'd always been invincible, so if death could beat her, what about himself and the others? They might as well join hands and walk out and airlock. If Kathryn died, they would all die in some way.

Kathryn looked up at the man whose hand was inside her chest, holding onto her life. "Chakotay...don't blame yourself, promise me you'll get the crew home, and never forget that I love you."

Chakotay used his free hand to push Kathryn's hair out of her face, leaving several streaks of blood on her cheeks as he did so. When he took his hand away, he kissed her forehead, lips, and freckled nose. He'd always loved her freckles. He would say they were cute, and Kathryn would always say that was why she hated them. Starship captains were not meant to be cute. Chakotay's standard response to that was that his captain wasn't cute, but the woman he shared his bed, body, heart, and soul with was.

"I love you, too, Kathryn," he said, but she was already gone.

It took everything in his power not to break down right then. She'd been ripped away from him before he'd been able to tell her that he loved her one final time.

Chakotay focused on his sadness and sudden loneliness. He tried to turn them into something useful, but the feelings were too strong.

He stood up, cradling Kathryn's lifeless body in his arms, covered with her blood. "Tuvok," he growled at the tactical officer, "blow those sons of bitches straight to hell."

Chakotay then walked to the captain's chair -- his chair -- and sank into it, still holding Kathryn's body. He buried his face in her hair, wishing that he'd wake up in their bed, with Kathryn wrapped around him.

"Sir!" Phillips exclaimed as the three ships on the view screen exploded. "Sir, the Doctor's back online!"

That was when Chakotay's will broke and he wept for the loss of a life that had been so dear to him.

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